i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
