do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my being single is dangerous.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
