Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
