I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
