I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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