also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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