yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
