Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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