I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
