either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
