I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
