I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
