i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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