I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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