Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
