Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize