He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
