when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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