paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
