Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
