Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
