remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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