i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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