Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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