Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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