I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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