I understand Curling. That high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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