Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
