he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
