Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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