it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
