and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
