So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
