Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Enjoy the penises
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
