You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
