i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize