Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
