Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
