We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
