It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
