So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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