he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
