You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
