So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
