Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
