I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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