Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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