Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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