Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
