ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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