Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
